KM Wedding Ceremony | KM Red Hoop Wisdom

Kautantowit's Mecautea's Wedding Ceremony

Ceremonies are preferably outside, or in a ceremonial lodge or under an arbor. Their commitment is to the Creator, to God. There is no breaking that commitment, and no divorce.

The Pipe Carrier, the official, makes sure they are well aware of this commitment. If the couple separates and goes their separate ways, in the eyes of the Creator, they are still husband and wife. The Pipe Carrier will not perform the ceremony unless the couple is very serious.

Each person makes a declaration that they choose to be known as husband and wife. Then they smoke from the pipe. Tobacco is offered and accepted by the official.

Once approved for the unification by the pipe carrier, the bridal couple are to select four sponsors for their marriage. Sponsors are older, well respected persons that are chosen by the bride and groom. The sponsors are to give spiritual and marital guidance to the couple throughout their lifetime. At the ceremony, the sponsors make a commitment to help the couple. These sponsers will join the family members in the ceremonial circle, circling the couple with the family members in the ceremony.

Brides, grooms and sponsors dress in regalia - traditional clothing, usually made by hand. The bride will wash herself in a body of water (lake, river, ocean, pond) the morning of her union in order to be blessed by the spirit of the Earth.

The bride's dress may be woven in symbolic colors: white for the east, blue for the south, yellow (orange) for the west; and black for the north. Turquoise and silver jewelry are worn by both the bride and the groom in addition to a silver concho belt. Jewelry is considered a shield against evils including hunger, poverty and bad luck.

The sacred area for the wedding ceremony is first selected. Generally, wedding ceremonies are done outside, but often times they are held either in longhouse or tipi. When the location is picked, it is blessed for 7 straight days. On the eighth day the ceremony is to commense.

First, we would like to welcome everyone to the wedding ceremony of _____ ____ and ____ ____. Out of respect and in effort of ensuring the sacredness of this ceremony is not disrupted, we ask for everyone to please turn off your cell phones at this time. We would also like to state at this time, that ____ and ____ are individuals that have traveled a varied and rich path to get to where they are today. With assistance, they have created a wedding ceremony that not only reflects a traditional ceremony, but also honors and respects all aspects of their journey here.

We would like to state at this time, that if anyone here is uncomfortable with a nontraditional ceremony, that you are invited to retire to the reception area at this time, where you may join in the celebration of the event after the ceremony.

Welcome, everyone! Today we have gathered here, to witness and celebrate the union of Drew and Trina. They come before us this day … their friends and loved ones, who have nurtured and supported them, so that we may share this moment with them.

The vows bonding your five aspects were spoken over the Sacred Pipe, witnessed by your tribe and sanctified by the tribal elders. Each year since, you traveled through the wheel, choosing new challenges to face, and bringing forth new creations. Until this point you have chosen to privately renew your bonds to one another. Once again, you are speaking your vows to each other over the Sacred Pipe. Only now you are sharing the beauty of your relationship with all of us, your family and friends.

Navajo weddings, brides may pour water on the groom's hands to represent their new union. Native Net notes that both the bride and groom wash their hands in order to remove old memories and past wrongdoings.

A woman is not property to be bought and sold. She is her own spirit, her own being of power and will. No human being has the right or privilege to “give or take” another.

(To the Bride:), is it true that you come of your own free will and accord? [Bride:] Yes

(to the Brides’s Dad) As her father, do you offer the blessings of her family? [Father:] – Yes Thank you. (Father sits at this time.)

The bride and groom are then to approach the sacred fire and are blessed. Then the participants of the ceremony are blessed, which include the bride mother and eldest brother, and the grooms mother... followed by the guests of the ceremony.

The Groom then recites the following poem:

Before we met, you and I were halves unjoined except in the wide

rivers of our minds. We were each other's distant shore, the

opposite wings of a bird, the other half of a seashell. We did not

know the other then, did not know our determination to keep alive

the cry of one riverbank to the other. We were apart, yet connected

in our ignorance of each other, like two apples sharing a common

tree. Remember?

I knew you existed long before you understood my desire to join my

freedom to yours. Our paths collided long enough for our indecision

to be swallowed up by the greater need of love. When you came to me,

the sun surged towards the earth and moon escaped from darkness to

bless the union of two spirits, so alike that the creator had designed them

for life's endless circle.

Beloved partner, keeper of my heart's odd secrets,

clothed in summer blossoms so the icy hand of winter never touches us.

I thank your patience. Our joining is like a tree to earth,

a cloud to sky and even more. We are the reason the world can laugh

on its battlefields and rise from the ashes of its selfishness to hear me say,

in this time, this place, this way - I loved you best of all.

We offer you both an opportunity to make this promise – · To take a moment, every day to remind yourselves of what brought you together. · To give the highest priority to open-hearted communication · To speak the unspeakable with each other. · To be open to one another with the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves. · To devote time to your home fire. · To rekindle your love while you journey together, taking time to share intimacy, dreams, hopes and desires. · To maintain your understanding and sense of selves, while knowing that you are part of each other. · To offer a hand up, and continually challenge each other to grow and reach for the more. · To be a clear mirror of reflection for one another, and to be compassionate when confronting each other.

To be the light for one another when darkness comes, and to shine brightly as a couple. · To be the beacon in times of turmoil and to be each other’s comfort at day’s end. · To take responsibility for the quality of your life together, and share in the abundance and delight. · To recognize each other’s failings and differences – and love each other anyway. Do you so promise?

The officiant then raises bowl of water from altar: We call to South, water bless (Groom)and (Bride) with emotional fluidity, and the ability to stand with each other in trust and innocence. Anoints right hands with water. Raises Earth from altar and says: We call to West, earth bless (Groom) and (Bride) with physical strength and stability, to use their intuition and introspection to share their inner most life with one another! anoints the bride and groom’s left hands with earth Raises bowl of corn pahoe from altar and says: We call to North, air bless their union with mental flexibility, and allow them the wisdom, logic and knowledge to come together and experience each other as adults! places the corn pahoe in the eye of each hand. Lights candle and picks up from altar: We call to East, fire shine like a beacon to illuminate and enlighten their expansive spiritual journey. Ignite the passion and lust for (Groom) and (Bride), ever burning yet never one consuming the other. Runs the flame under their hands. (Groom and Bride hold hands at this point) Offers hands to the void and says: That which sits in the center of all wheels, that place of the soul, allow these spirits that have joined together, these partners, these lovers, these friends to always have open-hearted communication and to ever feel the love that the divine has for them.

In the Rite, the couple takes seven steps clockwise around a sacred fire. The groom takes the first step, stops and recites a vow. The bride follows suit. This ritual continues until both the bride and groom complete seven steps. In some instances, the bride and groom exchange small gifts symbolizing their love and life together, such as ears of corn, feathers or stones, at each step. Corn represents fertility, feathers loyalty, and stones strength. As the bride and groom take their symbolic walk, guests join hands and form a circle around them and the fire.

Let the couple take the first step to provide for your household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.

Let the couple take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.

Let the couple take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.

Let the couple take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.

Let the couple take the fifth step, so that we be blessed
with strong, virtuous and heroic children.

Let the couple take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.

Finally, let the couple take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock."

You have taken the Seven Steps. You have become one anothers forever.
Yes, you have become partners. she has become his and he has become hers.
Hereafter, you cannot live without one another.
Do not live without one another.

Let you share the joys of and with one another.

You are word and meaning, united.
She is thought and he is sound. May the night be honey-sweet for you both;
may the morning be honey-sweet for you both;
may the earth be honey-sweet for you both and the heavens
be honey-sweet for you both. May the plants be honey-sweet for you both;
may the sun be all honey for you both;
may the cows yield you honey-sweet milk.
As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable,
so may your union be permanently settled.

GROOM STEP 1: O’ my beloved, our love has become firm by your walking one with me. Together we will share the responsibilities of the lodge, food and children. May the Creator bless noble children to share. May they live long.

BRIDE STEP 1: This is my commitment to you, my husband. Together we will share the responsibility of the home, food and children. I promise that I shall discharge all my share of the responsibilities for the welfare of the family and the children.

GROOM STEP 2: O’ my beloved, now you have walked with me the second step. May the Creator bless you. I will love you and you alone as my wife. I will fill your heart with strength and courage: this is my commitment and my pledge to you. May God protect the lodge and children.

BRIDE STEP 2: My husband, at all times I shall fill your heart with courage and strength. In your happiness I shall rejoice. May God bless you and our honorable lodge.

GROOM STEP 3: O my beloved, now since you have walked three steps with me, our wealth and prosperity will grow. May God bless us. May we educate our children and may they live long.

BRIDE STEP 3: My husband, I love you with single-minded devotion as my husband. I will treat all other men as my brothers. My devotion to you is pure and you are my joy. This is my commitment and pledge to you.

GROOM STEP 4: O’ my beloved, it is a great blessing that you have now walked four steps with me. May the Creator bless you. You have brought favor and sacredness in my life.

BRIDE STEP 4: O my husband, in all acts of righteousness, in material prosperity, in every form of enjoyment, and in those divine acts such as fire sacrifice, worship and charity, I promise you that I shall participate and I will always be with you.

GROOM STEP 5: O’ my beloved, now you have walked five steps with me. May the Creator make us prosperous. May the Creator bless us.

BRIDE STEP 5: O my husband, I will share both in your joys and sorrows. Your love will make me very happy.

GROOM STEP 6: O’ my beloved, by walking six steps with me, you have filled my heart with happiness. May I fill your heart with great joy and peace, time and time again. May the Creator bless you.

BRIDE STEP 6: My husband, the Creator blesses you. May I fill your heart with great joy and peace. I promise that I will always be with you.

GROOM STEP 7: O’ my beloved goddess, as you have walked the seven steps with me, our love and friendship have become inseparable and firm. We have experienced spiritual union in God. Now you have become completely mine. I offer my total self to you. May our marriage last forever.

BRIDE STEP 7: My husband, by the law of the Creator, and the spirits of our honorable ancestors, I have become your wife. Whatever promises I gave you I have spoken them with a pure heart. All the spirits are witnesses to this fact. I shall never deceive you, nor will I let you down. I shall love you forever.

Kautantowit... Great Creator who dwells in the heavens above... please protect the ones we love.

We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together.

We honor mother-earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons;

We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts;

We honor wind - and ask we sail though life safe and calm as in our father's arms;

We honor water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirsts for love;

With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together.

the bride and groom exchange baskets filled with gifts. The baskets symbolize the dowries traditionally required to be exchanged by the bride and groom's families. Gifts may consist of bread, corn, and meat.

The brides family give female gift baskets to the female family members in-laws such as beadwork, baskets, cloth gifts and houssehold items, whereas the grooms family give gifts of masculine nature such as knives, guns, hydes, horses and do forth to their male in-laws.

with the bride and groom exchanging rings to symbolize eternal love that has no beginning and no end. (the rings are handed to the officiant to be passed through the flame)

(To the Bride:), you stand before your love, (Groom) . You come in trust and innocence as a sacred human being, and a woman of power. Is it your will and intent to bind yourself to (Groom)? If this is so, say at this time and place your ring in his hand.

[Bride:] This is my will and my intent.

(To the Groom:), if it is your wish to be bound to (Bride), place the ring on her finger (places ring on brides left ring finger)

(To the Groom:), you stand before your love, (Bride). You come in trust and innocence as a sacred human being, a man of power. Is it your will and intent to bind yourself to (Bride)? If this is so, say at this time and place your ring in her hand.

[Groom:] This is my will and my intent.

(To the Bride:), if it be your wish to be bound to (Groom), place this ring on his finger (places ring on grooms left ring finger)

The officiant then proceeds to fill a vase with two holes on either side with water. The bride and groom drink from the water pouring from the vase as a toast to their union at the SAME TIME. A couple that can drink simultaneously without spilling a drop is anticipated to have good understanding with them throughout their marriage.

Proceeding into the blanket ceremony, the bride and groom are first placed standing on a tule mat, wrapped individually in blue blankets. Two Eagle Feathers are placed into the brides hair. While wrapped in the blankets, the officiant blesses the couple's union.

The blankets are then removed and the couple wrapped in a single white blanket. The blue blankets represent the elements of the couple's individual past lives and the white blanket the couple's dedication to filling their new lives with peace and happiness.

At the end of the ceremony, the tule mat is given to an elder.

Just as two threads woven together will form a strong and singular braid, so too can your lives merge together to create a strong and beautiful marriage. To make your relationship work will take love, vigilance, strength, compassion, and patience in this lifelong journey. At the core of your marriage, remain two individuals who decide daily that they need, want and desire a life together. This is why you are here today. It will take faith in each other to maintain and sustain your willingness to face any obstacles together, to know in your hearts that you truly want the best for each other. It will take dedication to stay open to one another; and to learn and grow together. It will take courage to go forward together without knowing exactly what the future holds. And it will take commitment, to hold true to the dream you both have pledged to share together.

a fire circle is created using stones and seven types of wood. There is one large, unlit stack of firewood built in the center of the circle and two small fires built that sit to the north and south of the circle. These small fires represent the bride and groom's individual lives. After the two small fires are lit, prayers are offered by the bride and groom and they then push their individual fires into the center stack of wood, igniting one large fire.

~~~ Apache Wedding Prayer ~~~

Now you will feel no rain, For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold, For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness, For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies, But there is only one life before you.

And may your days be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, andremind yourselves often of what brought you together.Give the highest priority to the tenderness,gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship,as they threaten all relationships at one time or another,remember to focus on what is right between you,not only the part which seems wrong.In this way, you can ride out the storms whenclouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering thateven if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of yourlife together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

(Groom) and (Bride) have declared their love before this gathering, and made their pledges to each other. Therefore, by the authority given to me by the state of ____, and by the depth of your commitment to each other, and the breadth of support shown by this gathered community, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your husband. I take great pleasure in introducing this now officially married couple, Mr and Mrs. _______

Go now to your dwelling place To enter into the days of your togetherness...

Food items for the feast include fry bread, venison (deer meat), squash, beans, corn, corn soup, potato soup and many desserts. Fresh fruits such as blueberries,http://www.worldofblueberry.com raspberries, and the 'heart' berry, strawberries, are served if available. There may also be a wedding cake. In a traditional wedding, the food is placed on a blanket, served buffet style.

The food is blessed. The Elders and the officiant will eat first, then the bride, groom, sponsors and other guests. None of the food is wasted. All of the food is either eaten or given away to the Elders.

In preparation for the Giveaway, the future bride and groom make (or buy) hundreds of gifts. A gift will be given to each person attending the celebration. The type of gifts is dependant upon the talent and financial ability of the couple. These gifts are also known as wedding favors.